“You Are Good Enough – Just As You Are” A Featured #NEDAwareness Week Guest Post by Dianne Bondy

*     *     *

How much good could we do in this world if our focus was on feeling good and sharing that feeling with the world around us – and what if we dedicated our whole life to serving others, to being present, and to loving ourselves? All of these things are possible, and they are not nearly as far from our reach as it would sometimes seem.

DianneBondyPose

A Guest Post by Dianne Bondy

It all begins with learning to recognize that already, right in this very moment: you are good enough. Once we learn to recognize this inherent truth, we can then begin to internalize that message by coming to accept that we are indeed good enough, that we have enough, and that our true inner nature is one of abundance and positivity. Coming to this realization allows us to recognize that we are naturally abundant in love, joy and happiness. Knowing this then gives us the power to unconditionally share our positive qualities with others and our world at large.

It has taken me over 25 years to learn and live this message for myself, and while I know this message to be true deep within myself, I still struggle with accepting it and living it every single day. But I am determined to change the negative language and the negative thoughts that creep their way into my life, and I challenge you to do the same.

Sadly, our culture teaches us from a very early age that we are simply not good enough just as we are. And while our culture may have taught us this message, and our culture may try desperately to perpetuate and reinforce this message, we are ultimately granted a choice as to whether or not we will agree to follow along.

For most of my life, I have been a victim of my own self-hate and poor body image. Living in a culture where you are different when everyone else is the same, a culture that values your skin colour more than the contents of your heart, is a painful challenge to overcome. It is really hard to love yourself when people are automatically judging you, categorizing you, and putting limitations on you – without even having the pleasure of getting to know you first.

I grew up in a small town in Canada where I was the only black girl in a sea of white faces. I felt so alone and I desperately wanted to have a friend that looked like me. It was hard enough facing messages of exclusion and unworthiness from external forces, but it was especially difficult and debilitating trying to deal with these messages from within my own family. My family tried to assimilate and fit in as best we could, but the fact that we were different made my life a challenge. I was teased and tortured by kids at school. To make matters worse, my own family also put a premium on how I looked, rather than who I was on the inside. No matter what I did, I still received the message that I wasn’t good enough.

DianneBondyBridgeI took all of these messages – from the school yard to my living room – and I decided the only thing to do was look as perfect as I possibly good. I thought if only I could just be thin, I would be beautiful. I believed that if I were beautiful, people would accept me: other kids would stop picking on me, my father would stop torturing me for being bigger, and my world would be perfect, I would be at ease, and the struggles would end.So I set out to achieve perfection, and I worked diligently as I chased my new goal.

Being a very focused and driven person by nature, I’m an unstoppable force when I put my mind to something. I worked hard at obsessing and torturing my body; it was a dangerous obsession – but no matter how hard I worked, my life didn’t change, the struggles didn’t end, and people didn’t appear to be any more accepting than before. Not only did my same struggles still remain, but I was also failing school and my friends and family started to worry about my survival.

Why was I doing this and why couldn’t I stop? It was because at the core of my being I was traumatized, and until I dealt with that trauma and its root causes, this pain and hatred was not going away. I struggled with my treatments, disordered eating and poor body image for a long time, but once I surrendered to accepting help and community, there was hope, and over the years, I started to realize that a shift in my perspective was the fundamental key in getting to the other side of my daily struggles.

As life went on, I fell in love and got married. Eventually, my husband and I made the choice to start a family. I wanted to be a mother, and create a family with my husband, and I knew that the only way to do this was to return to something that made me feel whole again. I identified this as a need for a spiritual practice – a practice that would bridge the gap between my body, my mind, and my spirit. This search lead me back to my yoga practice – a practice I had abandoned for years in favor of more extreme forms of physical fitness. Ultimately, returning back to my yoga practice was the beginning of making peace with who I was and what I looked like. I started with breathing and meditation practices, and slowly I began to focus more on the philosophy of yoga. The breath, the philosophy, and the physical practice, were connected to my soul and my higher Self in a way I had never experienced before.

I began to feel included, seen, and divine. I began to see my body as a beautiful and vital container for my soul. My yoga practice taught me that I am part of a bigger, more expansive divine energy that far exceeded the limited perceptions of self that had been dealt to me by society, my family, and messages from outside myself. I discovered that I was both worthy and beautiful. I realized, for the first time in all my life that I was enough – just as I was, and that realization saved me.

Dianne-Bondy warriorRadiating with a new self-love and a realization of my natural abundance, I started to surround myself with friends and a community that uplifted and supported me. I found a way to reinforce my new positive self-talk, and I worked hard every day to breakthrough my old, destructive thought patters. This fundamental shift in my self-perspective, and the internalizing of the message that I am enough -just as I am, is something I work hard at reinforcing every single day. Naturally, I still struggle with disappointment and self-doubt, and every now and again the messages of the world try to penetrate my consciousness. When this happens, I move deeper into my spiritual practices and I connect with my positive, healthy, and vibrant community. Without fail, this always brings me back to my higher self.

My heart resides in my personal mantra, and I want to share this mantra with you. I ask you to say this to yourself: I am enough, I have enough, I have all the time in world, and I am doing nothing wrong. I am perfect as I am.

Nothing is more powerful than our own self-talk, and our own realization of who and what we truly are – not what people at school or work say, not what family members say, not what our society and media tells us – but what we say to ourselves. This means that you have a choice to either connect with what is already deep inside you, or let others lead you astray. If you take a look deep within yourself, I know that you will see how truly radiant and abundant you already are. So I encourage you to create your own mantra – that is, to create your own self-talk, your own powerful little phrase that will bring you deeper within yourself, and drown out the noise from the world outside.

I think Dr.Seuss is one of the most profound philosophers of our time, and so I leave you with one of my favourite quotes…

Today you are YOU
That is truer than true
There is no one alive who is Youer than You
~ Dr. Seuss

*     *     *

Dianne Bondy is the creator and director of Yoga for All 200/500 Yoga Alliance Teacher Training Program  and founder and Managing Director of Yogasteya – a virtual online yoga studio that supports yoga for all cultures, shapes, sizes and abilities. On February 22, 2015 she will join other eating disorder recovery advocates in Baltimore for a special event called “Recovery in Real Life”during which she will facilitate a free yoga workshop focused on body acceptance.

You can read Dianne’s full bio here and watch a video invitation from her here.

Many thanks to Dianne for sharing her wisdom and insight with our readers! 

Photo credit: Erika Reid Photography

Erin Matson on Eating Disorders & “Recovery in Real Life” A Special #NEDAWawareness Guest Blog

ErinMatson-1-autocorrect

ERIN MATSON (@Erintothemax) is a writer and organizer for reproductive justice, equality for women, and social change. An activist and strategist, Erin has led local, state, and national advocacy campaigns and has appeared in a variety of publications and frequently on television, including ABC World News, BBC World News, and MSNBC. She served as an Editor at Large for RH Reality Check, and previously held a variety of positions in the National Organization for Women, including serving as the youngest state NOW president in the country (Minnesota NOW), a founding member of the national Young Feminist Task Force, and a national executive officer (NOW Action Vice President). One of her responsibilities was leading the national organization’s Love Your Body campaign. Erin is an anorexia survivor, and for many years said that recovering from an eating disorder was the coolest thing she’d ever done. That changed when she became a mom. 

We asked Erin to reflect on the experience of living with and recovering from an eating disorder and she graciously allowed us to share her thoughts and ideas with our readers. This is what she had to say…

Q: What is one fact about eating disorders that you think is most important for people to know and understand? 

EM: Recovery is possible! When I was most struggling with anorexia, I wish I had known there were people who do go on to recover. An eating disorder means there is hard work ahead but it definitely doesn’t mean that your life is doomed forever. I had an eating disorder and things were terrible, but today my life is terrific. That possibility didn’t get through to me while I was struggling.

Q: What is one thing you learned about yourself during your experience with an eating disorder and/or the recovery process?

EM: I am. It sounds strange, but one of the most profound things I learned through the recovery process is that I deserve to take up space without relying upon external validators like accomplishments, or roles, or size.

Q: Did you face any specific challenge during the recovery process and what helped you overcome it?

EM: Bad days and bad moments happen. Accepting them when they happen, rather than viewing them as failures or reasons to give up, is the first step to overcoming them. During the more difficult phases of my recovery I tried to observe a mental wall of separation between meal and snack and physical activity times; no matter what happened earlier in the day or the day before, I was going to focus on following my recovery plan during the moment in front of me.

Q: What are some day-to-day differences between life with an eating disorder and living life in recovery/recovered from an eating disorder?

EM: Cue the music and rainbows! Seriously, the difference is amazing. I am able to enjoy life, a depth of thought, and the company of others in a way that was impossible when I was preoccupied with my eating disorder. Recovery has made me more compassionate toward others and the struggles they may be going through. In the super-awesome category, recovery made it possible for me to have a baby.

Q: What feedback would you give to the support people – friends and family – of individuals struggling with eating disorders? How can they best help to aid in the recovery process?

EM: Patience. Patience and unconditional love are the best gifts you can give to an individual in recovery. What I didn’t need was people to fix my problem; what I most needed was people who I could count on, no matter what.

Q: Everyone defines recovery differently. What does recovery mean to you?

EM: Recovery means living without my eating disorder. It means accepting myself, and allowing myself the freedom to be human. At a macro level, it has come to mean for me actively resisting sexism and eating disorder culture, and working so that people treat each other (and themselves) better.

Want to hear more from Erin Matson on recovery from her Eating Disorder?  Be sure to RSVP for the event Recovery in Real Life and register for her breakout session entitled The Gifts & Challenges of Recovery during Pregnancy, Post-Partum & Parenting. 

Before the event, you can catch Erin chatting about the gifts of recovery in this short YouTube video: What Has Recovery Given You? Erin Matson on Eating Disorder “Recovery in Real Life” 

She also blogs about pregnancy and eating disorders, reproductive justice and other important issues over at erintothemax.com.  

Meet the rest of the #RecoveryinRealLife speakers here.

Meet the #NEDAwareness Week Speakers…

* * *

“Recovery in Real Life:
Celebrating the Voices of Hardship, Hope &
Healing from Eating Disorders”

Sunday, February 22, 2015
Baltimore, MD

Download the event brochure, read about the speakers below, and don’t forget to RSVP to reserve your seats today.

* * *

FEATURED PRESENTERS:

B_OkeefeBENJAMIN O’KEEFE is an actor, activist, and writer.  Born into very humble beginnings with his single mother, twin brother, and older sister, Ben quickly realized his passion for performing. After enduring intense bullying in school, Ben turned to his school’s theater program as a safe haven. It was there, in searching for the voices of the characters that he portrayed, that he found his own.  Besides working as a performer, Ben has been extremely active in activism work, particularly in the topics of LGBT rights, Youth Rights, and Body Image. He has worked with organizations such as GLSEN, The Trevor Project, NEDA, Proud2Bme, and many more. Ben has been responsible for creating many major movements of change. Most notably, an International movement against size discrimination by Abercrombie & Fitch. As a writer, Ben has contributed to some of the largest publications in the world including; The Huffington Post, The Guardian, The LA Times and many more. He has begun writing his first book “Our Stories: A Voiceless” and has also been featured in hundreds of publications around the world such as; The New York Times, People Magazine, NPR, Forbes, MTV, and The New Yorker. Appearing on several 20 under 20 and 40 under 40 lists it is well known that is Ben is using his passions to make an impact on the world, one person at a time.  Find Ben on Twitter @benjaminokeefe.

Erin_Matson1ERIN MATSON is a writer and organizer for reproductive justice, equality for women, and social change. She is based in Arlington, Virginia. An activist and strategist, Erin has led local, state, and national advocacy campaigns in areas including abortion rights, contraceptive access, and cultural representations of women.  Erin has appeared in a variety of publications and frequently on television, including ABC World News, BBC World News, and MSNBC. She served as an Editor at Large for RH Reality Check, and previously held a variety of positions in the National Organization for Women, including serving as the youngest state NOW president in the country (Minnesota NOW), a founding member of the national Young Feminist Task Force, and a national executive officer (NOW Action Vice President). One of her responsibilities was leading the national organization’s Love Your Body campaign. Erin is an anorexia survivor, and for many years said that recovering from an eating disorder was the coolest thing she’d ever done. That changed when she became a mom.  Find Erin blogging about pregnancy and eating disorders or on Twitter @Erintothemax.

Christopher SkarinkaCHRISTOPHER SKARINKA developed bulimia at the age of 20 while involved in athletics and high-pressure academics at Harvard University. He continued to struggle as he coped with the stress of an investment banking job after graduation. Now recovered, Chris remains active in the corporate world; he co-founded a company on the west coast and serves as the Chief Operating Officer of a big data company in Washington, DC. He also gives back and has served as Treasurer and junior board member of the National Eating Disorders Association for more than two years. In this role, his primary function is outreach, both broadly speaking and more targeted specifically towards men and athletes. This involves speaking on panels and at conferences, as well as writing articles and organizing outreach and fundraising events.  You can read more about Chris’s story here.

Dianne_BondyDIANNE BONDY is an Author, Motivator, Risk Taker, Educator, Yoga Teacher, and Leading Voice in the Diversity in Yoga and Yoga of Inclusion Movement. After struggling with self-hate, eating disorders and body image for most of her life, Dianne returned to her yoga practice after abandoning it for years for more extreme forms of fitness. This was the beginning of making peace with who she was and what she looked like.  She is passionate about creating a more diverse playing field in the yoga community and is a highly recognized voice in the Diversity in Yoga and Yoga of Inclusion movements – where all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and cultural backgrounds are recognized and embraced both on and off the mat.  Dianne Bondy is an E-RTY 500 with Yoga Alliance, with extensive training in yoga therapy.  She is a regular columnist for Elephant Journal and Do You Yoga, has been featured in Yoga Journal magazine, The Guardian and appears as a guest author in the books: Yoga and Body Image, and Yes Yoga Has Curves. She is the creator and director of Yoga for All 200/500 Yoga Alliance Teacher Training Program  and founder and Managing Director of Yogasteya – a virtual online yoga studio that supports yoga for all cultures, shapes, sizes and abilities.

Matt_WetselMATT WETSEL is an eating disorder and body image writer and advocate.  He focuses on the intersection of gender constructs, mental health, and body acceptance. Matt has degrees in Psychology and Religious Studies, and holds a Post-Baccalaureate Certificate in Gender, Sexuality, & Women’s Studies from Virginia Commonwealth University.  After suffering from anorexia as an undergraduate in college, Matt Wetsel got involved with the Eating Disorders Coalition (EDC) doing volunteer grassroots lobby work. Inspired by the people he met there, he became active in his local community organizing occasional guest speakers and giving talks to help educate others about eating disorders. He currently is a member of the EDC Junior Board and has been interviewed for various news outlets, including the Huffington Post.  He started his blog, Until Eating Disorders Are No More, in early 2011. The name was inspired by the legislative efforts of the Eating Disorders Coalition to help end eating disorders through effective policy reform, public education, and properly funded research. You can find Matt on Twitter @MattWetsel.

*  *  *

 Additional Breakout Session Presenters
from The Center for Eating Disorders’ Staff:

Boas.2015

Craig Boas, LCSW-C

Goff.2015

Heather Goff, M.D.

McGowens.2015

Niccole McGowens, Psy.D.

Hendricks.2015

Rachel Hendricks, LCSW-C

Anna Hanley Photo (1)

Anna Hanley, LGSW

Body Respect Q&A with Linda Bacon, Ph.D. ~ Part I


Linda Bacon, Ph.D. is an internationally recognized authority on weight and health.  She will stop by Baltimore this fall for two events aimed at dispelling long held myths about weight and health within the medical community and in our society at large. A nutrition professor and researcher, Dr. Bacon holds graduate degrees in physiology, psychology, and exercise metabolism, with a specialty in nutrition. She has conducted federally funded studies on diet and health, and  published in top scientific journals. Dr. Bacon’s advocacy for Health at Every Size (HAES) has generated a large following on social media platforms and the international lecture circuit. Her book, Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, called the “Bible” of the alternative health movement by Prevention Magazine, ranks consistently high in Amazon’s health titles. Her latest book, Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, or Just Fail to Understand, co-authored by Lucy Aphramor, is a crash course in all you need to know about bodies and health.

We recently had the pleasure of corresponding with Dr. Bacon to get answers to some of your most popular questions about HAES, the work she does dispelling diet myths and her newest book, Body Respect.  You can find Part I of her responses below, and Part II is available here.

*     *     *

Q & A with LINDA BACON, Ph.D.

Q: What led you to pursue writing about and researching health and weight science?

LB: My journey began from own personal pain: in my adolescence and early twenties, I believed that I was fat, that there was something wrong with being fat, and if only I lost weight, everything in my life would be better: my parents would be more proud of me, I’d be more popular… Those thoughts sent me on the painful journey of fighting my weight, and included an academic search for a solution. What I found along that academic journey surprised me: the research contradicted many of the commonly accepted beliefs I held about weight. I developed a critical lens through my work first as a psychotherapist, next as an exercise physiologist and later a nutritionist. And that critical lens has been so valuable in re-learning how to look at myself, and my own relationship with food and my body, and come to a sense of peace and contentment. The war that was originally waged against my self – the fat on my body – was more appropriately waged against oppressive attitudes about fat. I’m now on a mission to share what I’ve learned, both to support others in their personal journeys and to support social change. Our culture plays a huge role in fueling our disconnection with self and it’s critical we move towards a more just and compassionate world so that this struggle isn’t so normative. No one should experience the pain and body shame that I – and many others – routinely do.

Q: What are the most important tenets of Health at Every Size (HAES)?

LB: I see three aspects as being most important: 1) RESPECT, including respect for body diversity; 2) CRITICAL AWARENESS – challenging cultural and scientific assumptions; valuing people’s lived experience and body knowledge; and acknowledging social injustice as a hazard to health and well-being; and 3) COMPASSIONATE SELF-CARE – in eating, movement, and other areas. There’s a lot packed into those words, so here’s the simpler response: HAES is all about supporting people in moving towards greater acceptance and improved self-care, and advocating for the institutional and social change necessary to support that.

Free event in Baltimore on November 8th. Click image for details.

Q: Why do you think so many people continue to rely on dieting when the data isn’t there to back it up as an effective remedy for weight loss or improved health?

LB: I have a lot of compassion for dieters. The dieting belief system is so strongly a part of our culture and medical belief system, it makes sense that many people would buy into it and believe they are doing the right thing. And there is so much fantasy imbued in the results: the belief that one will be seen as attractive and successful, and that it will ameliorate disease. It makes sense many people grab onto it, and get a sense of hope when they try. And we’re taught to believe the “experts” rather than to trust our own experience. So when the diet fails to give them lasting results, the dieter blames him or herself, rather than the diet.

The diet is the problem and it’s the diet that fails, not the dieter. It takes courage to take our power back and recognize that the problem is out there, not in ourselves, that we have a system inside us well-designed to help us manage our weight, if only we trust it. The HAES journey is about helping people to understand that the source of their pain is not the weight itself – but the weight prejudice, and to reclaim their power to know what, when, how to eat, and a new attitude towards other self-care behaviors.

Not long ago, I had a very poignant experience of the damages of the diet mentality. I attended a wedding reception where there was a beautiful buffet of gourmet food. At one end of the buffet was the proud father of one of the brides. (I’m in California, where it’s legal for lesbians to marry.) He had helped plan this party; to him, sharing food was part of the ritual that brought his daughter’s friends and family together. At the other end, three women approached. One looked at the display and said, “Oh, I really shouldn’t.” Her friend commiserated, saying, “It really is tempting, isn’t it?” They all looked on sadly. This is the world we have created. These women are “good” dieters. For them, virtue lies in confronting the temptations of good food, exerting their willpower, and overcoming their desire.

This saddens me. I want a world where food is about nourishing us, body and soul, where we can celebrate with the shared ritual of eating. Where you eat what you want without guilt… and without bingeing. Where eating is uncomplicated by weight concerns.

Fortunately, that world is possible and the Health at Every Size movement helps to articulate it. I live in it myself, and I’ve tested it in a randomized controlled clinical trial. And my results have been reproduced by others. We have shown that people – yes, even “obese” people who are experienced dieters – can learn to dump the diet mentality and celebrate food, and that it results in improved nutritional choices and improved health outcomes. And that it does not result in that feared weight gain.

Q: In your new book, Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight, you and your co-author Lucy Aphramor write a lot about the influence of social justice on weight and health. What’s the most important thing you think people should understand about the impact of inequality and social differences on weight and health?

LB: I can sum it up in three words: “our stories matter.” Our experiences in the world get lodged in us on a cellular level. The experience of oppression, for example, triggers a chronic stress response, which in turn leads to weakened immunity and increased risk for many diseases. When we focus solely on an individual’s weight or health habits, we miss these structural and political inequities, and it stops us from addressing the policies and systems that have a far greater impact on our health. It also supports a culture of blaming individuals for their disease: e.g., “it’s your fault for getting diabetes; if only you ate better.”

How we get treated in the world has a huge impact on our health. Acknowledging the power of social status in determining health can help take the blame off of the individual and will have more significance for tackling health disparities than getting more people to stop smoking, or to be more active, or to eat more nutritiously. This doesn’t mean that we need to stop talking about behavior change: helping someone take better care of themselves is valuable. But it needs to be put in context. Once we understand this, it opens up new avenues for self-care and for how health care gets practiced.

 *       *       *

Interested?  Want to learn more about Dr. Bacon’s research and how the focus on weight can obstruct us from achieving health?  Read more in Body Respect Q&A with Linda Bacon: Part II.

Then join us in Baltimore on November 7th and 8th to see her speak. Visit our Events Page to reserve your seats.


 

Body Respect Q&A with Linda Bacon, Ph.D. ~ Part II

Welcome to Part II of our discussion with internationally acclaimed author and researcher, Linda Bacon, Ph.D.  If you missed Part I, you can find it here

*     *     *

Q&A with Linda Bacon, Ph.D. ~ Part II

 

Q: What are some of the repercussions of evaluating a person’s health by their weight?

LB: One key repercussion is misdiagnosis. Some thin people get the diseases we blame on weight – and they often don’t get diagnosed until later when they’re more advanced and harder to treat – and many heavier people never get the diseases we blame on weight. And then of course, it introduces the nocebo effect: tell someone they’re going to get sick and they probably will. So it’s just bad medicine. (And expensive! Those excessive costs attributed to “obesity” can be better attributed to weight bias.) Fat or thin, the conflation of weight and health imbues people with a fear of fat and distracts us from what really matters. It brings stigma, a problem of social justice, into health care. It’s both ineffective AND damaging.

 

Q: How could a focus on weight, or on weight loss, get in the way of effective healthcare? Can you give a specific example?

LB: My knee has been bothering me a lot lately, and that provides for an easy example. My father suffered from similar knee problems. However, he was fat (I use that as a descriptive term, stripped of pejorative connotations) and I’m not, resulting in very different treatment from our orthopedists.

My doc told me to first try physical therapy, that stretching and strengthening the muscles around the joint can help. Surgery was also presented as an option.

But what did my father’s doctors recommend? They put him on diets – over and over again. He never developed a regular exercise habit and struggled with weight cycling and disordered eating his whole adult life.

Carrying more weight may have aggravated my dad’s joint problems; no doubt there are ways it’s hard to be in a fatter body. (I should add parenthetically, that there are also ways it confers health advantage, but that’s a much longer blog post.) But trying to lose that weight is no kind of solution. I can assure you, my father – almost all heavier people – they’ve tried already.

My dad went to his death with knee pain. That’s just not effective healthcare. Even if fat is a causative factor and weight loss may be helpful in reducing symptoms, that doesn’t mean that prescribing weight loss is an effective or helpful solution. (Note also that it’s well documented in the literature: prescribing weight loss is more likely to result in health-damaging weight cycling than sustained weight loss.)

My advice in training health care professionals in respectful care with larger people is to start by considering how they would treat someone in a thinner body. Appropriate exercise? Meds? Surgery? Then do what you can to support your patients in implementing your advice and handling the challenges posed by their particular body.

It’s important to remember that good health habits benefit everyone, across the weight spectrum. And that you can’t diagnose someone’s health habits by looking at them. My father – and people of all sizes – could also have benefited from eating disorders screening. Appropriate eating disorders treatment may – or may not – have a side effect of weight change.

 

Q: On November 7 and 8 you will be speaking at two events in Baltimore, one for the community and another specifically for health professionals. What are some of your main goals for each of those talks and who do you think could benefit from attending?

LB: More than anything else, I want to inspire people. For the general community, I want attendees to leave with a sense of hope, that they can lose the guilt and shame and instead take pleasure in eating, that they can look at their bodies kindly. And I want the health care professionals to leave with a greater sense of agency, feeling empowered that they know how to be helpful for people. I want all of us to walk away with a stronger sense of community, feeling that we’re part of a committed group of people helping to make this a more just and compassionate world.

 

Q: Are you hopeful that our medical community, or even our society in general, will be able to make a paradigm shift away from a focus on weight? What helps you stay focused on and inspired by this goal?

LB: I do feel quite hopeful. I’ve watched the transition that’s been happening over the years, how my message resonates with the medical community, once exposed. Most professionals are feeling disillusioned with the old system, and I’m frequently told that coming to hear me talk is a relief. It allows them to take their disquiet seriously and they feel empowered to be presented with solutions that make sense.

But I’m not naïve. As much as I’d like to have faith in the inevitability of justice being done, and the old paradigm being tossed by the wayside, I’m just not confident that’s going to happen large-scale in the mainstream anytime soon. But I find it very liberating to consider that maybe the point isn’t victory, as much as we would like to see that done. Maybe the real issue is that by speaking my truth, I sleep better at night and it gives me hope.

Desmond Tutu offered this advice as rationale for the work of a freedom fighter: You don’t do the things you do because others will necessarily join you in doing them, nor because they will ultimately prove successful. You do the things you do because the things you do are right.

Dr. Linda Bacon

So I try to let go of the preoccupation with outcome, and find fulfillment in my involvement in something worthwhile, and being a part of this greater community. I look forward to being at Sheppard Pratt soon, and connecting with more people committed to a more just and respectful world.

*     *     *

Many thanks to Dr. Linda Bacon for sharing her time, expertise and compassion with our online communities.  Please join us November 7th in Baltimore when Dr. Bacon will offer an in-depth training for health professionals and then again on November 8th for an inspiring free community event. Find out more and register for both events here.

See Also: BODY RESPECT Q&A with Linda Bacon: Part I

Photoshop Does Not Cause Eating Disorders – Media & Body Image

Media Literacy Infographic

Click to View (pdf)


National Eating Disorders Awareness Week
(Feb. 23 – March 1, 2014)

Did you know that photoshopped bodies and the unrealistic beauty ideals set forth by the media DO NOT cause eating disorders?  While these unfortunate elements of our society CAN contribute to widespread negative body image and promote an internalization of the “thin ideal”, they cannot be blamed outright for the development of the serious and complex illnesses such as anorexia, bulimia,  binge eating disorder and EDNOS or OSFED.

When it comes to Eating Disorders there are actually a variety of contributing factors, of which the strongest are likely to be genetics and biology. In fact, research suggests 50-80% of a person’s risk for developing an eating disorder is due to genetics which includes factors associated with heritable personality traits such as perfectionism.

That being said, some studies have documented a link between exposure to westernized, thin-ideal media and an increase in eating disorder behaviors.   So while Photoshop may not cause eating disorders outright, the bottom line is that we all stand to benefit from more positive and realistic bodies in the media.  After all, individuals who feel better about their bodies take better care of them, regardless of weight, shape or size. Plus, positive body image and media literacy CAN serve as protective factors against disordered eating which is one reason why The Center for Eating Disorders supports projects like the Love Your Tree Campaign and The Illusionists documentary.

The infographic above from the National Eating Disorders Association breaks down some of the important elements of the media’s effects on body image. Click on the image to open and join the conversation on our Facebook page.

Read more about the etiology of eating disorders here: Underlying Causes and Contributing Factors

You may also be interested in:

I Had No Idea…Males and Eating Disorders – National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2014

This helpful infographic from The National Eating Disorders Association helps to break down some of the key facts. Spread the word and help others by breaking down stereotypes and supporting accurate information about  males and eating disorders.  Join us on Facebook for more information and to join the #NEDAWeek conversation.

Infographic: Males & Eating DisordersThe Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt has been treating males affected by eating disorders for over twenty years yet barriers remain for those seeking treatment.  Cultural stigma regarding males and eating disorders can make it more difficult for men to come forward and seek treatment on their own. The good news is that education, support and awareness about eating disorders among males are all improving so that more boys and men are seeking and receiving the treatment they need and deserve.

Perfectly Imperfect: A Special Q&A with JENNI SCHAEFER

Jenni Schaefer
In recognition of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb. 23 – March 1), we caught up with Life Without Ed author and all-around inspiring person, JENNI SCHAEFER. 

It was about  five years ago that Jenni last visited The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt  and we are thrilled to welcome her back here to the CED blog and back to Baltimore on Saturday, March 1st for a new presentation entitled, Perfectly Imperfect: Eating & Body Image. 

It turns out that a lot can happen in five years.  Armed with a new relationship, a new book and lots of new experiences, Jenni continues to educate, inspire and lead by example both within the eating disorder community and beyond.  We are grateful to Jenni for taking the time to answer our questions and excited to share her responses below with our readers.

*     *     *

Q & A with JENNI SCHAEFER  

Q: You’ve been a longtime advocate and activist for the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and will be speaking in Baltimore in honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2014. What does this campaign mean to you and what progress have you seen around the awareness and education of eating disorders since you began this journey?

After struggling for years with an eating disorder, I finally picked up the phone in search of real help. I called 1-800-931-2237, which is NEDA’s Helpline.  NEDA sent me a list of treatment resources (via snail mail back then!), and my healing journey began. It is surreal to me how life has come full circle: I am honored to serve as the Chair of NEDA’s Ambassadors Council today. Working with NEDA and NEDAwareness Week means the world to me. My hope during the week is not only to encourage people to get help but also to prevent some from ever going down the treacherous road of an eating disorder in the first place. If I had participated in a NEDAwareness event years ago, I believe that my journey would have been a lot smoother. Maybe I never would have turned to Ed (aka “eating disorder”) in the first place, or maybe I would have realized that I had a problem and reached out for help sooner. Similar to the 2014 NEDAwareness theme, “I Had No Idea” that I was struggling with a life-threatening illness.

Since I began my recovery journey, I have seen eating disorders awareness and education improve greatly. Back when I was struggling in college, I rarely heard anyone talk about eating disorders. But, today, colleges all across the country ask me to speak at their NEDAwareness events. Again, it is amazing how life can come full circle like that!

Q: In addition to your hugely popular and inspirational books, Life Without Ed and Goodbye Ed, Hello Me, you have a new book out with co-author Jennifer Thomas, PhD called Almost Anorexic: Is My (Or My Loved One’s) Relationship with Food a Problem? What prompted you and Dr. Thomas to write this book, and can you elaborate on what you mean by the term “almost anorexic”?

While 1 in 200 adults will experience full-blown anorexia, at Cover: Almost Anorexicleast 1 in 20 (1 in 10 teen girls!) will struggle with restricting, bingeing and/or purging that doesn’t meet full diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder. Almost Anorexic, which is the third book in Harvard Medical School’s The Almost Effect™ series, brings attention to the grey area between “normal eating” and an officially recognized eating disorder. Dr. Thomas and I want people to know that, regardless of their eating disorder diagnosis or lack thereof, both help and hope are available. A diagnostic label cannot adequately depict pain and suffering. All who struggle deserve help, and full recovery is possible.

[To learn more about
Almost Anorexic and to read book excerpts, click here. You can also watch a hopeful book trailer (video) or register to attend a professional workshop facilitated by the book’s co-authors.]

Q: There has been a lot of discussion within the eating disorder field recently around the conceptualization of eating disorders as brain-based illnesses as opposed to purely psychological or behavioral disorders. You touch on the implications of this in Almost Anorexic How can the words we use to define the disorder impact the recovery process?

When I first received help for my eating disorder, people told me that I would never fully recover. They said that an eating disorder was like diabetes and that it would be with me forever. Believing this, in the end, just served to keep me stuck. I had to change my language, and I had to connect with people who believed that I could get fully better. This made all of the difference.

In relation to brain disorder language, Almost Anorexic explains: “Some people and organizations have found brain-disorder language extremely helpful in explaining to others why individuals with eating disorders can’t just “snap out of it” and in absolving parents of guilt and blame for their child’s illness. Others, however, have worried that brain-disorder language may give sufferers and loved ones alike the hopeless (and false!) impression that eating disorders are lifelong illnesses that cannot be treated and may even provide a handy excuse for the continuation of dangerous symptoms (after all, your brain made you do it). To combat this, parent activist Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh has used the term “treatable brain disorder.” We suggest you use the terminology that works best for you. Words are powerful. Don’t let Ed hijack them.”

Q: Perfectionism is one of the genetically-based personality traits most highly associated with the development of eating disorders and will be the focus of your talk in Baltimore on March 1, 2014. Did perfectionism play a role in the development of your eating disorder? Did it also play a role in recovery?

I was not born with an eating disorder, but I was born with the perfectionism trait. Constantly striving to be perfect certainly made me more vulnerable to having an eating disorder. So did other genetic traits like high anxiety and obsessive-compulsiveness. However, when channeled in a positive direction, these traits played a crucial role in my recovery. I was able to refine perfectionism, for instance, and apply it to things like attending doctors’ appointments and finishing therapy assignments. When taken to the light, our genetic traits absolutely support recovery.

Q: Individuals who are perfectionists often struggle with the urge to compare themselves to people around them. Among individuals with eating disorders these comparisons are often appearance-based or weight-focused but can also be related to one’s career, house, family, wealth or talent. Constant comparison can be very triggering and detrimental to the recovery process. What strategies help you avoid this comparison trap?

My motto, as I originally wrote about in Life Without Ed, is “Compare and Despair.” Early in recovery, I actually displayed “Compare and Despair” on post-it notes throughout my home. These notes reminded me that comparing inevitably leads to despairing, so I did my best to stop setting myself up for this kind of self-loathing. Further, learning that I was not alone in my tendency to compare helped me to change as well.  The Center for Eating Disorders’ survey related to Facebook and comparisons, for instance, has helped people I know to better understand the growing prevalence of comparing (as well as the fall-out of it) and to feel a sense of camaraderie in making positive changes.

Q: In the age of social media, it seems the opportunity for comparing oneself to others has reached an all time high. Do you have any tips for individuals looking to use social media in a healthy way that is supportive of recovery?

In the tenth anniversary edition of Life Without Ed, which was just released, I talk about the fact that Ed surely has a Facebook account! Each time a person with an eating disorder logs in online, Ed does, too. This awareness is key. Further, individuals with eating disorders can change their online settings to block triggering people and ads. Within the anniversary edition of Life Without Ed, I give many tips for how to use technology to support your recovery, including using mobile apps like “Recovery Record” and “Rise Up + Recover.”

Q: You last visited The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt as a guest speaker in 2009 during which you spoke about the concept of being Recovered. from your eating disorder. What new insights about being Recovered. have you gained over the past 5 years, and has any of it surprised you?

I often say that I am recovered from my eating disorder, but not from life. Part of being “recovered.” actually means continual personal growth. Since my visit to Sheppard Pratt, I have blossomed in many areas, especially related to relationships. I have learned how to let more love into my life and have even gotten married. Luckily, my husband’s name is not Ed! Related to freedom from eating disorders, you can click here to download a table that Dr. Thomas and I created comparing “fully recovered” to “barely recovered.”

Q: What are some of the main points you hope to convey during your upcoming talk, Perfectly Imperfect on March 1st in Baltimore? Who do you think could benefit from attending the presentation?

One of the most common comments I receive from audience members is, “I don’t have an eating disorder, but I do have an Ed in my head.” People also relate to my efforts to overcome perfectionism as well as my journey to find happiness in life. We always have fun singing my song, “It’s Okay to be Happy.” That said, my talks are applicable to anyone who calls him or herself a human! On March 1st, I will discuss finding balance with food and weight in a world that is anything but balanced. We will talk about striving simultaneously for both excellence and “perfect imperfection.” And one big goal of my presentations is to laugh—a lot.

*    *    *

Do you have your own questions for Jenni?  Join us on Twitter @CEDSheppPratt for a special Tweet Chat on Thursday, February 20, 2014 from 1:00-2:00pm EST with Jenni Schaefer (@jennischaefer) and Jennifer J. Thomas, PhD (@drjennythomas).  Use the hashtag #CEDchat to participate and follow along. Send your questions in advance to kclemmer@sheppardpratt.org and we might use them during the chat!

More About Jenni…
Jenni Schaefer’s breakthrough bestseller, Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too, established her as one of the leading lights in the recovery movement. With her second book, Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life, she earned her place as one of the country’s foremost motivational writers and speakers. Jenni’s straightforward, realistic style has made her a role model, source of inspiration, and confidant to people worldwide looking to overcome adversity and live more fully. She speaks at conferences, at major universities, and in corporate settings; has appeared on many syndicated TV and radio shows; and has been quoted in publications including The New York Times. She is also chair of the Ambassadors Council of the National Eating Disorders Association. An accomplished singer/songwriter, she lives in Austin, Texas

Want to learn more about NEDAwareness Week Events at The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt?  Click HERE.

 

 

Body Image & ACT: Q&A with Author and Psychologist Emily Sandoz, PhD


The collective response to negative body image often includes an attempt to convince people to love their bodies, to embrace every imperfection and to do away with all negative thoughts.  These can be difficult, if not impossible, tasks for most people, particularly amidst the backdrop of a culture that encourages body bashing and a very narrow ideal of “beauty”.  For many individuals, negative thoughts about their bodies are so deeply entrenched that it feels too big of a leap to move from hating their bodies to falling madly in love with them. So if you’re not ready to love your body, what’s left to do?  Emily Sandoz, PhD, along with co-author Troy DuFrene, propose a different path in their new book, Living With Your Body & Other Things You Hate: How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. 

In anticipation of our upcoming Fall Community Event, we conversed remotely with Dr. Sandoz to find out more about her work with body image, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), and of course, the soon-to-be-released book.  Read on to learn more about ACT and don’t forget to RSVP for Dr. Sandoz’s free presentation in Baltimore on November 17th, 2013, or download the event invitation (pdf).

 

Q & A with Emily Sandoz, PhD

Q: What was your  motivation for writing Living With Your Body & Other Things You Hate: How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (due out Jan. 2013)?

ES: Well, a couple of things. First, I find myself more and more aware of how body conscious we are.  At a very early age, people begin evaluating themselves in terms of their body’s appearance or functioning. For many, this can become a primary means of self-evaluation, becoming more of a focus than other things that person really values or strives for.  Further, I think the general public receives mixed messages about what they are supposed to do with those evaluations.  Are they wrong evaluations? Should they always evaluate themselves positively, always love the body? Should they change their bodies? Is it our responsibility to look good, to be strong and physically capable?  This book suggests that all that struggle to manage our thoughts and feelings about our bodies, or even manage our bodies themselves, can just lead to more and more struggle. We suggest that healthy body image is about body image flexibility – being able to receive our experiences of our bodies, good and bad, and to relate to ourselves and the world meaningfully, regardless of those body experiences.

Q: Many people engage in deep and serious battles with body image on a daily basis.   What are the possible repercussions of going through life hating your body? 

ES:It stands in the way of other things that are more important. You can’t help being critical of the way your body is.  That’s what minds do – they are critical.  They have to be!  But hating is getting entrenched in those self-criticisms.  Letting them drive your behavior, so you end up living your life more about managing your self-criticisms than about your relationships, or your career, or your spirituality – whatever is most important to you.

Q: What are the main tenets of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy?

ES: ACT (said as the word “act”) is based on the idea that healthy living is characterized by psychological flexibility, or the ability to experience ourselves, others, and the world fully and without defense, while taking action toward the things we care about, even when it is painful or scary. Not having this psychological flexibility is actually a driving factor in creating psychological stress and problems such as depression, anxiety and eating disorders.  It’s not our experiences (our thoughts or feelings) that are problematic, it’s all the things we do to try to get rid of them.  Those things interfere with the life worth living.

[Psychological flexibility spans a wide range of human abilities to: recognize and adapt to various situations; shift mindsets or behavior to preserve personal or social functioning; maintain balance among important life domains; and commit to behaviors that are congruent with our values. source: Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2009]

Q: What does the research say about the effectiveness of ACT for body image and eating disorders?

ES: This is a relatively new area, to be sure, but preliminary data coming from a number of different labs are largely supportive of the application of ACT to body image and eating disorders.  My own work in this area has recently moved to basic research, focusing on the nature of body image inflexibility, how it develops, and how flexibility can be trained. My hope is that this work can complement the treatment research by promoting continued development based on better understandings of body image flexibility and inflexibility.

Q: Many people are familiar with Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) but may be less knowledgeable about ACT.  What are the main differences between ACT and other evidence-based treatments for eating disorders and body image such as CBT and DBT? 

ES: Well ACT is a cognitive behavior therapy, but it differs from many CBT’s in that it challenges the idea that thinking must change for observable behavior to change.  In this area, ACT posits that healthy body image and eating does not depend on challenging critical thoughts about the body. It depends on learning to engage in meaningful, values-based action regardless of what thoughts are coming up.

Q: “Acceptance” can be a difficult concept for people to really understand and put into practice.  Why is this?  And what’s the most effective way to define or describe acceptance as it relates to body image?

ES: It’s tough because we sometimes think acceptance means liking or tolerating tough experiences.  Applied to body image, acceptance simply means making room for all thoughts and feelings about the body, whether we like them or not.

Q: What are the potential barriers to “letting go” of one’s struggle with body image? To that same point, what are the possible benefits?

ES: We are trained from a very early age that things that hurt are wrong, that we are responsible for managing our feelings.  In the case of body image, we are also taught that managing our bodies is our responsibility.  We are taught that it’s right to struggle, that we should feel good and look good, and we should be willing to struggle to get there. Because of this, considering letting go of that struggle is hard to even imagine. We find ourselves wondering what would happen to our experiences of our bodies if we stopped struggling. Would our bad feelings about the body completely overwhelm us if we weren’t managing them?  And what about our bodies themselves? If we weren’t struggling – Would we suddenly become grotesque? Would our bodies become completely disabled?  Of course, letting go of the struggle does mean that we expose ourselves to all kinds of hurt that we don’t like having.  Only letting go of that struggle frees us up to do other things that are more important – to allocate all those resources to the things we really care about, even when it hurts. And we know it’s going to hurt because we feel most vulnerable when we’re going after the things we want. So in ACT, we practice doing that, in the presence of the worst kinds of body hurt.  It’s not just hurt anymore, though, it’s hurt with a purpose.

Q: You talk in your new book about the idea that acceptance “isn’t something you do once”.  Can you elaborate on that notion?

ES: Well, it’s not like we pass through some portal where suddenly we are all-accepting and the work is done. It takes practice.  We think we’re doing great, then we suddenly notice all these new ways of inflexibility showing up, these new scary or painful thoughts coming up.  It’s just human nature.  Working on body flexibility is a lifetime commitment to making the things that matter to you more important than managing your experience of your body.

Q: Where does the element of “Commitment” come into play when working on body image struggles?

ES: Building a lifelong pattern of flexibility takes commitment. From an ACT perspective, commitment means noticing when we are being inflexible, when we are working to move away from ourselves and our own experiences, and simply turning back.

Q: What are some of the other areas in life in which the principles of ACT might be beneficial?

ES: Any area of life that is, for you, characterized by attempts to manage your experiences instead of managing the meaning in your life is an area of life that might benefit from the ACT principles.  And the ACT community provides a wealth of resources for people looking to do this kind of work. The Association for Contextual Behavioral Science website has a whole section for folks who are looking for support applying these principles in their lives, and New Harbinger publishes a number of self-help books for a range of difficulties people experience.

Q: On November 17, 2013 you will be in Baltimore speaking about How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image.  What do you hope people will take away from this event and who could benefit from attending?

My main hope is that people may leave curious. Curious about how they struggle with their body image and what costs that has in their lives. Curious about how their lives might look different if they let go of the struggle with body image and embraced their experiences of their body, painful or pleasurable.  Curious about how they might use the time and energy if they weren’t spending it on the body image struggle.

 *     *     *

Emily K. Sandoz, PhD, is assistant professor of psychology at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, LA. She is a therapist who specializes in treating clients using acceptance and commitment therapy. Sandoz is coauthor of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Eating Disorders and The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Bulimia. She received her doctorate from the University of Mississippi, and she lives and works in Lafayette, LA.

On November 17th, Dr. Sandoz will be the featured guest speaker at The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt‘s fall event, How to Let Go of Your Struggle with Body Image.  Click on the link to find out more about the FREE event and to reserve your seats.

The Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt offers outpatient therapists trained in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. If you’re interested in this type of therapy and would like to find out more about starting treatment for an eating disorder and/or body image, please call us at (410) 938-5252.

 

Recovery Word Cloud

As part of our {Saturdays} {Sharing} {Support} series, we recently asked our Facebook followers to share the ONE word they would use to provide motivation and encouragement to other individuals or families in the recovery process.  This word cloud is a compilation of the wonderful responses we received both online and in groups here at CED. We’re thinking it might not be such a bad thing to have your head in the clouds after all.

  Thank you to everyone who participated on Facebook and shared your recovery motivation.  If you’re new to the CED blog, join us on Facebook and Twitter for ongoing recovery motivation and education about eating disorders and body image.